Everyone wants that perfect meeting. You sit next to each other on the plane. Sparks. You talk all the time. You exchange information. Boom. Match made in… the sky.
While this all sounds just lovely, one has to wonder how realistic it is. We all have this friend that it happened to, so we think it’s possible. In fact, you would think it was the norm. “Well, my friend Jamie met her husband on the Amtrak train to New York, so I’m taking the train more. Or “Jeffrey looked at Chris in the frozen food section, and they’ve been eating ice cream together ever since.” It’s beautiful, it’s sweet… and it’s a unique experience. We just remember these stories because they are more interesting than “We Met Online”.
Because these stories are rare, it’s important to make sure you present yourself in the right way. I want to share the three main categories of meetings:
1. The first is the random “method” we talked about above – the airplane, Starbucks, the top of the Eiffel Tower. You get the point. These are unpredictable. You don’t know if people are single. And if they are, you don’t know if they are watching. The chance of meeting someone at random is low. Don’t go into a random situation hoping to meet someone or you will be very disappointed. Hope is one thing, but leave it there.
2. The second is the club or group – a Meetup, a hiking group, a sports team, an art class. Just like with Random Events, you have no idea who’s available and who isn’t, so you can’t expect to meet someone, but that’s an added bonus if you do. The point of this way of meeting people is to make yourself known by doing something that you already enjoy. For example, if you hate fishing, don’t join a group of anglers to meet someone because you’ll have a bad time! But let’s say you like hiking. Join a group of hikers. Whether you meet someone or not, you’ll have fun doing something you love anyway. Meeting someone would be the icing on the cake. Plus, when you’re doing something you love, you’re more of yourself, which is a great way to attract people, friends, and partners.
3. The third are events and sites specifically aimed at singles – online dating of course, speed dating and any other singles event. Here, although maybe more contrived, at least you know that the other people are also single and looking. This is the best way to show off yourself. There is always an element of luck, but you set yourself up for the best luck when you know people have the same goals as you – to meet someone. This is why I highly recommend online dating. Especially with covid-19, more people than ever are using online dating sites. It’s time to jump on the bandwagon.
So let’s put it into action. I want you to browse your city’s event listings and sign up for a singles event, either in person or virtually. Maybe it’s a speed-dating event, maybe it’s a happy hour for singles, maybe it’s something else. Commit to showing off yourself and giving yourself the best chance of meeting someone. Remember, however, that no matter how you present yourself, it will still take time and you will have ups and downs, good and bad dates. Do not abandon. Take breaks if you want to, but don’t stop if it’s something you really want. If you need help finding events in your city, please do not hesitate to contact us.
Erika Ettin is the founder of A Little Nudge, where she helps others navigate the often intimidating world of online dating. Want to get in touch with Erika? Join his newsletter, eepurl.com/dpHcH for updates and advice.